Take that judicial system!

R Kelly was acquitted of all charges of peeing, and is back on the streets. If you're an underaged girl, you know what that means. URINE trouble! Get it, cause he is going to pee all over you like a urinal cake.

You can't spell Murder Inc. without Murder...or Inc.

Oh man, so check this out. Ashanti just released this promotional video that's supposed to look like a newscast, where people were inspired by Ashanti's new single to go out and murder people. On a fucked up scale of 1 to 10 it scores a whopping 12!!

http://jezebel.com/5015191/viral-marketing-for-new-ashanti-album-is-ill-advised-at-best

Linda Hogan is dating a 19 year old.  The luckiest 19 year old on Earth?  am I right?  

hey, where's the volume knob on that t-shirt?    Looks like a rainbow took a dump

FOX-y lady. She likes the weiner

Megan Fox reported to FHM that she has an insatiable appetite for sex.  I have the same insatiable appetite for peanut butter m&ms.  Call me!

Oprah's Diet Expert

I love it when magazines interview Oprah's expert diet consultant.  What was his advice?  "You need more caramel flavored butter!"  

New Batman awesome as hell?

I saw the original Batman on TV last night, and that was just awesome, in that Michael Keaton is perhaps the least intimidating man on the face of the Earth.  He's like, what, 5'4 and 100 pounds.   Kim Basinger could have whopped his ass.  I can just picture the villains looking at him and being like "Yeah, um...we're just gonna keep robbing if it's cool with you."  And then there's that scene where he attacks the Jokers balloons and a giant pair of scissors pops out of the front of the Batwing.  Because Batman totally knew he was going to encounter giant deadly balloons, a hedge badly in need of trimming, or an italian woman.  Hahahah, because they're hairy.

Mila Kunis pumping gas

I'd offer to help pump her tank, but she's all about self-service.

Capn' Obvious: That's a sexual metaphor!!